Resilience
by CelestialSonata7
Summary: Grief is a response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something to which a bond was formed. NO SLASH.
1. Chapter 1 Tragedy

**Author's note: Hey. Here's my new story. Yes, it's another Logan story. So sue me. I'm sorry if there's anything wrong in this story, but I tried the best I could. Enjoy. :)**

**No slash, just friendship.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

Chapter 1

Tragedy

_Resilience:_

_"The ability of an individual who is exposed to the death of a close relation, to maintain relatively stable, healthy levels of psychological and physical functioning."_

_"So how have you boys been? Recorded any new songs I should know about?" Her voice came cheerfully over the phone._

_He chuckled. "Nah, mostly just been working on harmonies all week. It's been pretty dull. But I can't complain. At least Gustavo isn't making us dance all day, non stop. Man, that's torture."_

_She chuckled. "Well, if he gives you any trouble, let me know, okay sweetie?"_

_"I will mom." He replied, trying to smother a yawn._

_"I heard that." His mother's voice came sternly over the phone. "Get some rest sweetie." She said sweetly._

_"But we haven't even been talking for very long." He protested tiredly._

_She chuckled. "We can talk tomorrow. I don't want you to suffer Gustavo's wrath in the morning when you're too tired to work!"_

_"We have the day off tomorrow." He mumbled in a weak protest._

_"Still." She said. "Go to sleep honey. I'll call you tomorrow."_

_"Alright." He finally agreed. "I love you mom."_

_"I love you too Logan. Good night. And don't let that nasty ol' Gustavo get ya down!" She joked. "Stay strong!"_

_Logan chuckled. "I will mom. I promise. Good night."_

* * *

"Oh come on!" James yelled.

"Haha!" Carlos laughed. "You snooze you lose!"

"That was totally cheating!" James yelled.

"You can't even cheat in Mario Kart." Kendall reasoned.

"Clearly you _can,_ because Carlos is doing it!" James said.

"Or maybe I'm just better than you!" Carlos said smugly.

"Hey! James! I'm on your team!" Logan said angrily as his character was bumped off the edge.

"Sorry Logie." James said half-heartedly, eyes fixed on the screen. "Take that!" He said as his character launched a red shell.

"Denied!" Carlos cheered when the shell hit a banana peel trailing behind Carlos.

"Why you-" James started.

"Don't make me take that game away from you boys!" Mrs. Knight called from the kitchen.

"Sorry mom!" Kendall called back.

"We'll be good!" The other boys said.

"Carlos, stop wasting your power-ups!" Kendall said. "James isn't even near you yet."

"Right." Carlos said.

"Hey!" James said. "I'm not the only one on this team you know!"

"Maybe." Kendall said. "But you're the only one we want to go after." He said with a smirk.

"How's that fa-" James started.

"Aaaaaw!" Carlos and Kendall groaned as their characters were hit by an explosion.

"Logan!" Kendall yelled.

Logan shrugged. "Like James said; He's not the only one on this team." He said smugly, then his and James' characters passed the finish line.

"Oh yeah!" James cheered as he high-fived Logan. "In your face!" He yelled to Kendall and Carlos.

"Rematch!" Kendall and Carlos yelled.

"You're on!" James and Logan yelled back.

Mrs. Knight shook her head fondly at the boys as she put some plates away.

Suddenly the boys heard a ringing, and reluctantly paused their game as Logan pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

"You can't take a call in the middle of a game!" James said in appall.

"Who is it?" Kendall asked curiously.

Logan frowned at the display screen. "Unknown number."

"Helloooo?" Carlos called annoyedly. "We're in the middle of a game! You can call them back after we win!"

"Fat chance!" James said.

Logan waved them off, still staring at the phone. "Just take me out of the game." He said as he stood and made his way around the couch.

James shrugged. "Fine. I can beat them myself!"

"You wish!" Kendall said, and they resumed their game.

"Hello?" Logan answered his phone. He stood at the window near the table behind the couch, away from the boys and their yelling.

"Hi, Logan Mitchell?" A woman asked sweetly over the phone.

"This is he." He answered cautiously.

"Are in any way related to a Ms. Joanna Mitchell?" She asked.

"Yeah, that's my mother." Logan answered. "Who is this?"

"My name is Alison Tamerak. I'm a police officer in Minnesota."

"Police officer? Minnesota?" Logan repeated. "What's going on? Why would the police know anything about my mother? And how did you get this number?" Worry started to rise in the back of Logan's throat.

Alison sighed. "Listen, there's no easy way to say this."

"What's going on?" Logan repeated a little more forcefully. He felt incredibly guilty for speaking to a police officer with such force, but worry and panic took him over.

"Your mother. . ." Alison started hesitantly. "She was in an accident early this morning."

Frozen. Logan felt frozen in place. It felt like the whole world had stopped. "What?" He asked.

His sudden urgent tone caught Mrs. Knight's attention. "Logan? Is everything okay?" She asked as she made her way over to where Logan stood.

Logan didn't even notice Mrs. Knight. He clutched his phone with white knuckles as he listened to every word the officer said.

"You mother was passing through an intersection, when a speeder hit her car. I'm sorry. . .She didn't make it."

Dizziness overwhelmed Logan, and he shot an arm to lean against the window. "I-I don't understand. What. . .How?"

"The speeder hit the driver's seat of your mother's car. She died instantly."

"B-but, that's impossible." Logan shook his head. "I just spoke to her last night. She was fine!"

The panic in Logan's voice was enough to stop the boys' game and they paused to turn to him. "Logan?" Kendall asked with concern.

"I'm sorry." Alison said apologetically. "We're collecting everything we can from the wreckage. We've already contacted her close friends that reside in Minnesota and are sending anything we find to them."

Logan swallowed hard, trying to keep his composure. "Who. . .Who are you sending it to? Who all knows?"

"A Mrs. Sylvia Garcia and Mrs. Brooke Diamond. They were the ones that gave me your number. They said that they couldn't handle being the ones to spread the news so soon."

Logan nodded, still trying to keep his emotions in check. "I understand. Thank you officer." He said shakily.

"Of course. Well I need to be going now, but I really am sorry for your loss. Good-bye Logan."

"Thank you. Bye." Logan hung up and pinched at his eyes, trying to push back his tears.

"Logan sweetie, what's wrong?" Mrs. Knight asked, her worry and concern growing. The boys quickly scrambled to where they were.

"Mrs. Knight." Logan started. His voice cracked and he cleared it before continuing. "It's. . .My mom. . .Your friend, Joanna."

Mrs. Knight brought a hand to her increasingly pounding chest. "Is she okay?"

Logan squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stay together for Mrs. Knight. "That was a police officer from Minnesota." He said. "She said that my mom. . .She was in a car accident this morning."

Mrs. Knight brought a hand to her mouth as tears spilled down her cheeks. "No." She said in a cracking voice, already falling to her grief. "No no no no. This isn't happening."

"I'm sorry." Logan said. "Sh-she didn't make it."

Mrs. Knight fell into Logan's arms as she sobbed, and Logan wrapped his arms around her comfortingly.

The boys stood shocked. They didn't know what to do, how to react. Kendall felt like he should be comforting his mom but he couldn't move. None of them could. They just watched as the usually together and strong Mrs. Knight broke down in Logan's arms.

Logan rubbed soothing circles on Mrs. Knight's back, and slowly lowered her down to rest on the ground, where she laid her head on his chest and sobbed into his shirt.

"Mom?" Katie peeked out of her room cautiously. But upon seeing her distraught mother, she started running to her.

James, being the closest, shot a protective arm around Katie to stop her.

"What's going on?" Katie asked James worriedly, on the verge of tears at seeing her mom so upset.

James lead her to the couch, where Carlos followed, and filled her in quietly, tears hovering in his own eyes, as well as Carlos'.

Kendall finally broke free from his shock and knelt down beside his mother, stroking her hair soothingly. He couldn't imagine how she must be feeling, having just lost one of her best friends. That would be like him losing Logan or James or Carlos. It was just wrong, in so many ways.

* * *

"I see." Mrs. Knight sniffled as she spoke on the phone.

"How is she?" James asked quietly as he leaned over to the boys. They all sat on the couch, watching Mrs. Knight worriedly.

Kendall sighed. "She's been better."

"I can't believe this is happening." Carlos said softly. "I never even knew Mrs. Mitchell that well. We didn't go to her house a lot."

"Yeah." Kendall agreed. "But she was one of mom's best friends. Can you imagine losing one of your best friends?"

James and Carlos shook their heads. "I don't want to." James said.

"That would mean losing one you guys." Carlos said, then shuddered at the thought.

Yeah." Kendall said. "I wonder how Logan's taking all this." He shot a glance to the kitchen table were Logan was helping Katie with her homework, obviously trying to distract her.

"He seemed pretty upset after he got off the phone." Carlos said.

"Yeah but now he's acting like nothing happened." James said worriedly.

"I'm worried about him." Kendall said.

"This Sunday?" Mrs. Knight asked. "Yeah I think we can make it. Thanks Sylvia. I'll talk to you later. Bye." She hung up and rubbed a hand over her eyes.

Logan came over and put his arms on hers comfortingly. "How ya doin'?" He asked softly.

Mrs. Knight sniffled, and Logan wrapped his arms around her in response as she cried again.

Mrs. Knight sniffled again, trying to compose herself. "The funeral's this Sunday." She informed in a cracking voice, as she pulled away from Logan. "Sylvia and Brooke are taking care of everything. All we have to do is show up." She looked up at him with teary eyes. "You boys don't have rehearsal then, do you?"

Logan shook his head. "I'll take care of it." He said softly, but firmly. Mrs. Knight smiled at him.

"Mom?" Katie asked tentatively.

Mrs. Knight wiped at her tears and knelt down with open arms to Katie. "It's okay sweetie." She said as she embraced her daughter. "I'm sorry I scared you." She said softly.

Logan rubbed Mrs. Knight's shoulder as she hugged Katie, and Mrs. Knight couldn't help but smile.

Finally, Mrs. Knight and Katie pulled away. "Now go finish your homework sweetie." She said as she stood. Katie nodded and went back to the table.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Kendall asked as he and the boys approached them.

Mrs. Knight nodded. "I'm sorry I fell apart like that."

Kendall went around the counter and hugged his mother. "You don't have to be. We understand completely." He pulled away to look at her and let out a small chuckle. "I think we'd be more worried if you _didn't_ react like that."

Mrs. Knight smiled and laid a hand on Kendall's cheek. "How did I get such a sweet boy?" She asked fondly.

"He learned it from you." James said as he and Carlos sat in the chairs at the counter.

Carlos nudged his side playfully. "Suck up." He teased, then turned back to Mrs. Knight. "But it's true." He smiled.

Mrs. Knight smiled at all of them. "I must be the luckiest person in the world, that your mothers lent me you amazing boys." She said with tears in her eyes, and they all surrounded Mrs. Knight in a hug as she fell to tears again.

* * *

**Author's note: I know it's a little far-fetched that they would all just forget about Logan, but it's part of the story so, pretend it could happen. Pretend that Mrs. Knight was so upset that she took all the attention from him. That could make sense right? :)**


	2. Chapter 2 Mourning

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

Chapter 2

Mourning

The next week was hard on everyone. They all started packing for their trip back to Minnesota for the funeral of Mrs. Mitchell, but everytime Mrs. Knight packed something up, it reminded her of her deceased friend and she would fall to tears again. Luckily she had Kendall, who was always there to hold her and comfort her.

James and Carlos didn't know how to act around her anymore. They weren't used to seeing Mrs. Knight so upset. And with Kendall always comforting her, they lacked someone to guide them through this difficult time. They felt a little lost and out of place.

Katie was scared. She'd never seen her mother so upset and broken before. She only knew her mother to be strong and happy. To always have the answers to everything and know just what to say. If it wasn't for Logan always being with Katie and helping her, Katie might have been traumatized by the whole experience.

Finally, Sunday came. Everyone was at the church listening to the priest say kind words about Mrs. Mitchell and her life.

Kelly graciously gave the boys the time off to come back to Minnesota. She even joined them and sat with the mothers as they cried silently.

Mrs. Garcia sat in between her husband and son, both rubbing her shoulders and back comfortingly as she cried.

Mrs. Diamond sat in between James and Mrs. Knight. Since the divorce, James had been his mother's strong shoulder to cry on, taking up his father's duties. He wrapped his arms around her and she cried into his shirt.

Kendall was the same way with his mother. He'd always been there for her whenever she needed him, and today was no different as he surrounded her in his arms protectively.

Kendall, James and Carlos didn't know how to act. They felt sad about Mrs. Mitchell, but neither of them knew her well enough to be so broken up about it. They had only met her a handful of times.

Katie felt the same way. She sat in between Kendall and Logan, who had an arm around her shoulders, and she just stared at her hands. Every once in a while she would feel Logan rub her shoulder soothingly.

Everything felt unreal. It all happened so fast, that no one really fully caught up with it all. They all moved and acted like they were in a hurry, desperate to catch up with the events, always with that nagging feeling in the back of their minds that they were forgetting something.

"Joanna Mitchell was a beloved friend and mother, and will forever be missed." The priest finished. Then everyone silently made their way to pay their respects to the closed coffin.

* * *

Mrs. Diamond stood in the kitchen washing dishes, in a daze. The wake after the funeral was being held at her house since it was the biggest. Everyone was gathered there, talking, eating, and sharing stories of Mrs. Mitchell. With the exception of Kelly, who had to fly back to L.A. All the people in her house got a little overwhelming, so Mrs. Diamond retreated to the kitchen unnoticed to get a little peace.

Not even watching what she was doing, she absentmindedly scrubbed at the dirty dishes that filled the sink. Her scrubbing started to get more forceful and violent as her thoughts caught up with her. Tears streamed down her face as she thought about her deceased friend. She couldn't believe this was happening.

Thoughts of her friend happily driving down the road filled her mind. She saw Mrs. Mitchell smiling in her car, carefree as she turned down the intersection.

When suddenly the car was violently jerked off the road, everything crumpling and shattering upon impact.

Mrs. Diamond threw a plate across the room as she screamed in anger. She sniffled, tears never ceasing, as she stared at the broken white glass on the floor. She vaguely thought about if anyone heard her outburst, but then remembered the music playing in the living room, drowning her out. She was glad that no one would come in and see her like this.

Slowly, she made her way over to it and started picking up the small pieces. She started crying harder, thinking about how her heart looked and felt the same as the plate. She felt so alone, so hurt.

She didn't even hear when someone came in. But when she felt comforting arms wrap around her shaking body, she dropped the glass pieces and leaned into them, crying into their chest.

"Shhh. You're not alone." Logan whispered as he stroked her hair. Mrs. Diamond gripped Logan's shirt as she cried, leaning into his warm embrace, and listening as he started to hum softly.

* * *

"How's she doing?" Mrs. Knight asked.

"Better." Logan answered. The wake had cleared out, and Mrs. Diamond had calmed down a little. Everyone watched from the kitchen as Mrs. Diamond laid in James' arms, him stroking her hair comfortingly.

Mrs. Knight sniffled. "This is so hard." She said softly.

Kendall wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry mom."

Mrs. Knight leaned into his chest. "Thank you sweetie." She said softly.

"Has anyone seen Katie?" Logan asked.

"Last I saw, she was headed upstairs." Carlos said. "That was an hour ago I think."

"I'm worried about her." Mrs. Knight said. "I know she's way more mature than her age, but she's still only twelve. This must be really scary for her. And seeing me like this can't be helping."

"I'll go check on her." Logan said, then headed up the stairs.

Slowly, he made it to one of the bedrooms, and listened. Sure enough, sniffles were heard from the other side. "Katie?" He knocked softly then entered the room.

Katie was sitting on the bed facing the wall. Upon hearing the door open, she slowly turned around and looked at Logan with red-rimmed eyes.

Logan silently closed the door behind him and sat on the bed, wrapping Katie in a one-armed hug.

Katie leaned into his chest. "I'm scared." She whispered.

"I know." Logan whispered, rubbing her arm for comfort.

"Mom's so sad. I've never seen her like that before." Katie said softly. "I can't imagine what it's like to lose one of your best friends."

"Me neither." Logan said softly.

"She's so sad and she's always crying." Katie said, then looked up at Logan with a hint of fear in her eyes. "Is mom broken?" She asked in a small, childlike voice.

"Just a little bit." Logan answered honestly. "But that's why she has you guys. Her family; You, Kendall, Mrs. Diamond, Mrs. Garcia, everyone. You have each other to help one another. You're never alone, and that's why she'll be okay; 'Cause she has everyone to help put her back together."

"How do you know?" Katie whispered.

Logan hugged her tight. "Because none of you will let the others fall, it's how you are, it's how this family works." He said softly.

Katie gripped his shirt. "I'm scared." She whispered. "I hate this."

"I know Katie." Logan said, rubbing her arms. "Me too."

* * *

"What are we gonna do?" Mrs. Knight asked. "This is all so overwhelming."

"It's hard to keep track of everything, isn't it?" Mrs. Garcia asked. Her husband wrapped an arm around her for comfort.

Mrs. Knight nodded. "At least Brooke is okay for now." She said, glancing at the couch in the living room, where Mrs. Diamond lay on James' chest, both fast asleep.

"And I'm sure with Logan up there, Katie's not far behind either." Kendall said.

Mrs. Knight nodded. "At least some things seem to be slowing down."

"How are you doing mom?" Carlos asked.

Mrs. Garcia smiled sadly. "Better. I have my two strong men to keep me sane." She said fondly, then hugged Carlos.

Mrs. Knight watched the exchange with a smile, and felt Kendall's hold around her tighten ever so slightly. "We are so lucky to have such amazing sons." She said fondly as she leaned into Kendall.

"Si." Mrs. Garcia said with a smile, as she rubbed Carlos' arms. "This one gets it from his dad." She said as she looked up at Mr. Garcia, who still had an arm around her.

"Now now." Mr. Garcia said. "I can't take all the credit. Only half of him is from me. The other half is all you baby." He said softly.

Carlos wrapped an arm around both of them. "Yep." He agreed. "And the other, other half is from Kendall, James and Logan." He smiled.

His parents chuckled. "Yes, them too." Mr. Garcia said and sent Kendall a smile.

Kendall smiled back. "Don't look at me." He said. "Unlike you guys, mom actually _can_ take, and deserves full credit." He smiled at her.

"Oh, you're too sweet." Mrs. Knight said. "But like Carlos said, he and James and Logan had a hand in sculpting you into the amazing young man you are today as well." She smiled.

"Told ya." Carlos said with a smile.

"I'm so glad we have each other." Mrs. Garcia said. "I don't know where I'd be without any single one of you. It's hard enough without. . ." She trailed off and a sob escaped her.

Mrs. Knight went around and wrapped her arms around her. "I know what you mean Sylvia. I feel the same way." A tear tracked down her face and Mr. Garcia, Kendall and Carlos joined in the hug.

"Mom?" Katie called softly as she descended the stairs, holding Logan's hand tightly.

Mrs. Knight broke from the hug and wiped her face, then knelt down invitingly. "Hey sweetie." She said.

Katie walked up to her mother and wrapped her arms around her neck.

"Are you feeling better?" Mrs. Knight asked as she hugged her daughter.

Katie nodded, then pulled away to look at her. "What about you?"

"I'm okay." Mrs. Knight said. "I'm sorry honey. I know this must be scary for you."

Katie shrugged. "Don't be sorry. I know it would be a lot worse if you _didn't_ cry."

Mrs. Knight laid a hand on her shoulder. "You're such a strong girl Katie. I'm so proud of you." Katie wrapped her in a hug again.

Kendall watched his sister and mother, but was lost in thought, the last thing Katie said, ringing in his head. There was something important about its meaning, he just couldn't place his finger on it.

* * *

**Author's note: I tried to make each mom a different stage of grief. Mrs. Knight was Denial in the first chapter, and now Mrs. Diamond was Anger. I hope that worked out okay.**


	3. Chapter 3 Longing

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

Chapter 3

Longing

The next morning, everyone seemed drained. Even after a night's sleep, it's like the energy was zapped from everyone and wouldn't return. Everyone had slept at Mrs. Diamond's house last night, since no one had the energy to go back home.

Mrs. Knight sat in the kitchen holding her coffee, and staring blankly at the table. Mrs. Diamond had been cooking, but it seemed to be taken longer than it normally would, her movements lacking any enthusiasm.

James came around the corner then, sending a sympathetic look to Mrs. Knight as he made his way around and hugged his mother from behind. Mrs. Diamond stopped what she was doing and fell into his arms, losing control of her emotions yet again.

Finally she calmed down, and nodded reassuringly to James, touching his face fondly, then turned back to cooking.

James came and sat down beside Mrs. Knight, laying a hand on her shoulder. "How ya doin' Mama Knight?" He asked gently.

Finally, Mrs. Knight tore her gaze from the table to smile lightly at him. "I'm okay." James gave her a pointed, yet gentle look, and she smiled again at his protective instincts. "I'm better." She corrected.

James rubbed her shoulder soothingly. "Glad to hear it." He said with a small smile.

Mrs. Knight wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling him return the embrace. "Such sweet boys." She mused softly, then pulled away to look at him. "How did we get so lucky?" She smiled, and he smiled back.

Carlos came around the corner then, half asleep as he plopped down in the chair across from Mrs. Knight and James, then he dropped his head on the table.

James and Mrs. Knight chuckled. "Tired much?" James teased. Carlos groaned in response.

"Shhh." Carlos hushed. "Sleeping."

"That's what beds are for." Kendall teased as he came behind him and ruffled his hair, before sitting down on the other side of his mother and giving her a hug. "Any better today?" He asked.

"Much." Mrs. Knight answered as she pulled away. "Thank you dear."

Kendall rubbed her shoulders. "Of course mom."

"Shhhhh." Carlos hushed again. "Still sleeping."

The others chuckled. "Hey, where's Logan and Katie?" Kendall asked.

"Katie's still asleep upstairs." Mrs. Knight said.

"Logan's helping mom and dad clean up after last night." Carlos said, then finally lifted his head. "They're almost done."

"Good." Mrs. Diamond said as she set the table. "Because breakfast is ready."

* * *

Mrs. Garcia went around the living room with a big garbage bag and picked up abandoned paper plates and glasses, and other garbage she could find. While her husband and Logan cleaned in other rooms. She straightened up the couches and tables and picked up fallen objects, placing them in their correct places. When a certain object stopped her.

She picked up the fallen picture frame and stared at it. Mrs. Mitchell looked so happy and lively. She looked confident, like she could take on the world. Her big brown eyes sparkled, and her wavy short brown hair shone as they caught the rays of the sun.

A few tears slipped down Mrs. Garcia's cheeks. "Please." She said softly. "Come back. I'll do anything, just come back. I'll do whatever you want me to do. I'll clean your house, I'll do your work for you, I'll pay for anything, everything you need. You won't have to lift a finger, or spend a dime. I'll do it all, just come back!" She started to cry as she spoke to the picture. "Please Joanna. We need you."

Finally she ran out of words, and Mrs. Garcia just cried silently as she stared at the picture. Once she heard someone approaching, she tried to compose herself, but was unsuccessful. The tears didn't stop. The hurt and longing didn't go away.

An arm reached up and held hers gently, then another carefully took the picture and placed it back on the mantle above the fireplace. Then the arms wrapped around her and she cried into his chest.

"Shhh. It's okay." Logan soothed as he rubbed her back. "You're not alone. We're all here for you."

They stayed like that for a little while, Mrs. Garcia crying into his chest, slowly calming down, when Mr. Garcia found them. He and Logan shared a look, then he silently walked up behind them, and placed a hand on his wife's shoulder. Mrs. Garcia slowly pulled away from Logan and wrapped her arms around her husband, sniffling into his chest. "I've got you dear." Mr. Garcia said softly, sending Logan a thankful nod. Logan nodded back and headed upstairs, leaving the couple alone.

* * *

"Should I go get her?" Kendall asked.

"Um, not quite yet." Mrs. Knight said. "Let's wait for Sylvia and the others to finish. If Katie's not up by then, you can go."

Then Mr. Garcia walked in, holding his wife tightly.

"Are you okay mom?" Carlos asked, noticing her red-rimmed eyes.

Mrs. Garcia nodded as she sniffled. "I am now." She said, sending her husband a thankful look.

"Where's Logan?" James asked.

"He went upstairs." Mr. Garcia said.

"We're here." Logan called as he entered the kitchen, holding Katie's shoulders.

"Alright then." Mrs. Diamond said. "Let's eat."

* * *

"This is scary." Carlos whispered. The boys sat at the kitchen table.

"I know." Kendall agreed, running a hand through his hair. "They act so different now."

"Do you think they'll ever be okay again?" Carlos asked.

"I'm sure they will Carlos." James said, slinging an arm around his shoulders. "They just need time."

"I hope so." Carlos said softly. He looked into the living room from the kitchen.

The mothers were all gathered on the couch watching old home movies. All of them were crying, and comforting each other. Mr. Garcia sat beside his wife and rubbed her arm comfortingly.

"Do you think we should be with them?" James asked. "I mean, I know they said they didn't need us right now, but still."

"I think they're fine James." Kendall said, watching them. "They may be crying, but I think they're fine with just being with each other right now."

"Mom's so sad." Carlos said in a cracking voice. "I don't like seeing her sad."

"We don't like it either Carlos." Kendall said, laying a hand on his shoulder. "But I think they're getting better. They just need to grieve and then they'll be okay. And we'll be there to help them when they need us."

"Besides, you'd be sad too if you just lost your best friend." James said. "You think you'd be able to get over it so quickly?" He asked bitterly.

Carlos shook his head solemnly. "No. I don't think I'd ever be able to get over it if I lost one of you guys. That's why I'm worried about them." He said, looking back to the living room.

"It'll be okay Carlos." Kendall said, slinging his arm around his shoulders. "They're stronger than we think. They'll get through it. That's what they have us for. We're going to help them. It'll be okay."

"I hope you're right." Carlos said.

"Just hang in there." Kendall said, pulling Carlos closer to him. Carlos leaned his head on Kendall's shoulder. "If Katie can handle it, so can we."

"Where is she anyway?" James asked.

"Upstairs with Logan." Kendall said, then pulled away from Carlos. "I should actually go check on her. She can't be handling it as well as she's letting on." He said, then quietly got up and made his way up the stairs.

Down the hall, Kendall carefully creaked until he stood in front of the bedroom door. He leaned his ear against the door to listen dreadingly, expecting to hear soft sobs.

Kendall was surprised however, to hear not sobs, but giggles, and he carefully cracked open the door.

"Full run!" Katie said as she set her cards down on the ground in front of her. "I win!"

"Man!" Logan exclaimed as he threw his cards down in the pile. "That's the fifth time in a row!"

"I'm better at 'Big Two' than you!" Katie taunted.

"Oh yeah?" Logan said, then grabbed her and pulled her into his lap, tickling her sides.

"No, stop!" Katie laughed.

"Never!" Logan exclaimed, and Katie laughed even harder.

Kendall smiled warmly at the sight. Katie was in good hands. He quietly closed the door and went back down stairs.

There he found that Carlos and James had joined everyone in the living room, so he joined them.

"How ya doin'?" Kendall asked as he dropped a kiss on his mother's forehead, before sitting next to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"Better." She sniffled, nuzzling into his chest. "We were just telling James and Carlos here about the time Sylvia, Joanna and I teamed up against Brooke at that pee-wee hockey lunch."

"Good times." Mrs. Diamond mused as she sniffled. James tightened the hold he had around her. "She was so strong." Mrs. Diamond said. "It was impossible to stand against her." She smiled fondly at the memory.

"I'm sad that we didn't get to know her very well." Carlos said as he nuzzled into his mother. "She sounds really cool."

"I'm sad about that too Carlos." Mrs. Garcia said, rubbing his arm. "You boys would've liked her." Mr. Garcia rubbed her arm soothingly.

"She was a lot like us." Mrs. Knight said.

"Then we definitely would've liked her." Kendall said, rubbing his mother's arm comfortingly.

"You boys are so sweet." Mrs. Garcia smiled.

"We learn from the best." James smiled.

Everyone else managed sad smiles of their own.

Kendall's heart ached slightly at the sight in front of him, everyone forcing smiles. If only they were as easy to distract as Katie was.

* * *

**Author's note: In this one Mrs. Garcia was Bargaining. That may not have been clear, and I'm sorry. But I didn't know how else to do it.**


	4. Chapter 4 Acceptance

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

Chapter 4

Acceptance

The next morning was just like the last, everyone's steps and movements seeming to slow and lack any enthusiasm. Mrs. Knight was absentmindedly reading the paper with a coffee in her hand, while Mrs. Diamond and Mrs. Garcia were lazily assembling breakfast. Mr. Garcia watched them in concern.

"Morning." Kendall said sleepily as he made his way into the kitchen. He plopped down in the chair beside his mother and laid his head on the cool table surface.

"You're _really_ not a morning person, are you?" Mr. Garcia asked playfully as he watched Kendall.

Kendall merely groaned, face planted into the table.

Mrs. Knight dropped the paper onto the table and stroked the back of his head, smiling fondly. "He never _has_ been very fond of mornings." She mused. "Makes it hell trying to get him up for school."

Mr. Garcia chuckled. "Well, Carlos is no picnic either." He assured. "I swear, that kid is the most stubborn kid I know when it comes to getting out of bed in the morning."

Mrs. Garcia chuckled then. "We practically have to drag him out of bed and down the stairs to the breakfast table."

"Uuugh, I know." Kendall groaned as he lifted his head. "He was the same when we were trying to get to rehearsals back in L.A."

Mr. Garcia chuckled again. "Well, I'm sorry you have to go through that. I know how hard it is." He teased.

Kendall nodded. "James is fine to get out of bed though." Kendall said. "It's getting him out of the _bathroom_ that's the problem."

"Uuuuugh, tell me about it." Mrs. Diamond groaned from the kitchen. "Always messing with his hair. I swear, that's all he cares about. He'd be willing to skip breakfast just so he could spend extra time on his hair!"

"Believe me,". Mrs. Knight said. "I know. He's lucky he's had us all this time, practically forcing him out of the bathroom and to the kitchen table. Otherwise I'm sure he'd starve!" Everyone laughed lightly.

"Katie's no walk in the park either." Kendall said. "For someone so tiny, without the right amount of sleep, she's like an animal in the mornings!"

"Kendall!" Mrs. Knight lectured through her laughing.

"Well it's true!" Kendall said. "Don't even try to tell me you don't have a hard time getting her out of bed mom!"

Mrs. Knight laughed. "Alright alright. You're right, she's just as hard to get out of bed as James and Carlos are. And _you_!" She added.

"Oh come on!" Kendall defended. "I'm the only one besides Logan that actually gets out of bed by myself, without you coming in every five minutes with threats of all sorts!" Everyone laughed again.

"What's this about threats?" James asked as he and Carlos made their way into the kitchen.

"Oh, just talking about our mornings, and trying to get everyone out of bed." Mrs. Knight explained as they sat down at the table.

"Ah." James said in understanding. "Key word being 'trying'?"

"You know it." Kendall said with a chuckle.

"Hey, it's not our fault we're not morning people." Carlos said as he rested his head on the table.

"Maybe not,". Mrs. Garcia said. "But you could at least make it a little easier on us." She suggested.

James and Carlos exchanged a look, then simultaneously shrugged. "Nah. No fun in that." They said, causing everyone to laugh again. Kendall reached over and ruffled Carlos' hair, since he was sitting closest to him.

"Morning!' Katie called as she and Logan sat at the counter beside Mr. Garcia.

"Good morning sweetie." Mrs. Knight greeted. "How was your sleep?"

"Great." Katie said. "You?"

Mrs. Knight hesitated and exchanged looks with Mrs. Garcia and Mrs. Diamond.

"So are you hungry?" Mrs. Diamond quickly changed the subject. Everyone fell suspicious, then sympathetic at the moms. Clearly they were still grieving pretty hard.

Mrs. Diamond looked down at whatever she was making. "We have-" But she stopped once she realized that what she was making, which turned out to be eggs, had burned, almost beyond recognition. Mrs. Diamond sighed, then dumped the food in the garbage. "So much for that." She mumbled.

"Why don't we have a barbecue?" Logan suggested.

Everyone turned to him in shock. "What?" Mrs. Garcia asked.

"The weather's beautiful outside." Logan reasoned. "It's the perfect opportunity!"

"I could start up the barbecue." Mr. Garcia offered, agreeing with Logan.

"Oh, sweetie,". Mrs. Knight started hesitantly, not really sure how to continue. "That sounds really nice, but I'm not really sure now's the best time."

"It's just. . ." Mrs. Diamond started. "Too soon."

Logan sighed. "I know everyone's all still sad. But don't you think she would want you to be happy? She wouldn't want you guys to stop being the amazing and fun and happy people that you are, just because she's not here right now. She wouldn't want you guys to stop living your lives."

Tears stung at the moms eyes. "We know." Mrs. Knight said. "But, it's just so hard."

Logan went over and wrapped his arms around her, and she leaned into his chest. "I know." He said. "It's _really_ hard, but I think that, she would want us to try. Like she's still here with us."

"Logan, you just don't understand." Mrs. Diamond said gently. "She was my best friend. We all loved her like a sister. You don't know what it's like to lose someone that you love like family. It hurts, like nothing else."

Tears stung at Logan's eyes, but he quickly pushed them back before anyone noticed, then cleared his throat. "You're right. I don't know what's like to lose a best friend." Logan released Mrs. Knight, Kendall quickly taking his place. Then Logan held Mrs. Diamond's arms comfortingly. "But I know what an amazing person she was. I know how many people she touched, And I just think that, maybe we should do something. You know. . .To commend that."

"Logan-" Mrs. Knight started.

"We've already mourned her death." Logan said. "Why don't we celebrate her life? And everything she did?"

Everyone shared looks. They'd never thought about it like that before, and as they went it over in their heads, it started to make more and more sense.

* * *

"I've got the buns!" Katie exclaimed as she ran through the sliding glass doors, to the picnic table in the backyard. The barbecue was already going better than everyone expected. The light atmosphere and the fresh air was doing wonders for everyone's mood. The moms were at the table sharing more 'Joanna' stories, but they weren't sad about it, they were actually having fun. Mr. Garcia was grilling burgers and hot dogs, while the boys were playing on the big trampoline Mrs. Diamond had in the backyard.

"Put them here!" Mrs. Knight called, and Katie quickly set the bags of burger and hot dog buns on the table before rushing to the trampolline. Mrs. Knight chuckled. "Be careful!" She called.

"We will Mama Knight!" James called back, then did a backflip on the trampoline before getting off and giving Katie a turn.

"Better get your car ready." Mrs. Garcia said as she watched. "There's no way we're getting through this without a trip to the hospital."

The others laughed. "I don't know." Mrs. Knight said as she watched. "Kendall's watching one side carefully, and Logan's on the other. Between the two of them, I'm sure they can keep things under control."

"I hope so." Mrs. Diamond chuckled as she shook her head fondly, then turned back to the girls. "So, where were we?"

"Joanna was making the deal." Mrs. Garcia reminded.

"Oh right!" Mrs. Diamond laughed. "So, she was trying to sell this house right? And the guy just wouldn't hear it! He really didn't want the house. But Joanna wouldn't hear that either! She gave him everything that was on his 'perfect house' list and more. Finally, she practically yelled at him saying, 'You won't find a better house than this buddy! I'd take it if I were you!' And he practically screamed like a girl! He was so scared that he paid full price without any negotiations and ran off!"

Everyone laughed hard enough, their faces were pink. "That's just like her." Mrs. Knight said as she wiped a tear from her eye.

"Strong-headed." Mrs. Garcia mused. "She could get away with anything!"

Mrs. Knight then stood and grabbed her glass of juice and raised it in the air. "To Joanna." The girls followed. "For always being the rock of our group. For making us laugh when we needed to, and being a strong shoulder to cry on when we had no one else. For being a great friend and an even greater sister. Who was always there to provide whatever we needed. Like a good laugh, even a couple bucks. . ."

"Or a good deal on a house!" Mrs. Diamond cut in. Everyone laughed.

"We love you girl!" Mrs. Garcia said.

"And are missing you like crazy!" Mrs. Diamond added.

"But we hope, where ever you are, that you're safe and happy!" Mrs. Knight said. "To Joanna!"

"To Joanna!" The girls said, then drank from their cups and sat down.

"You know, Logan was right." Mrs. Garcia said happily. "This _was_ really good for us!"

"I know what you mean." Mrs. Diamond agreed. "I haven't felt this good in days! It's like the weight that's been on my shoulders has lifted, ever so slightly."

"I feel the same way." Mrs. Knight smiled.

"Food's done!" Mr. Garcia exclaimed, holding a big plate in the air. Immediately, a chorus of cheers could be heard, followed by the frantic scrambling of five pairs of feet to the table. The moms and Mr. Garcia braced themselves for the impact of the hurricane, laughing the entire time.

* * *

"That was great!" Mrs. Garcia exclaimed as she entered the house, carrying a small stack of plates.

"I haven't had that much fun in ages!" Mrs. Diamond said as she put condiments back in the fridge.

"We should do that more often!" Mrs. Knight suggested as she loaded the dishwasher.

"I'm up for it if you are!" Mr. Garcia said. "I always love me a good barbecue!"

"And you're an amazing cook." Mrs. Garcia said as she planted a kiss on her husband's lips.

"Yes, really well done!" Mrs. Knight said.

"Gracias." Mr. Garcia bowed his head lightly. "And we finished just in time." He said, looking outside to the twilight sky. "It's just getting dark." He said, then was almost knocked to the ground as the boys ran into the house and to the living room.

"Careful boys!" Mrs. Knight lectured.

"Sorry Papa Garcia!" James and Kendall called.

"Sorry Papi!" Carlos called. The boys quickly jumped onto the couch and started up a video game.

Katie came in shaking her head. "Boys." She muttered.

"Where's Logan?" Mrs. Garcia asked.

"Still outside cleaning." Katie said, pointing her thumb behind her to the glass doors.

Everyone looked out to see Logan holding a black garbage bag and walking around the yard, throwing garbage into it.

"And none of you are helping him?" Mrs. Knight asked, appalled.

Katie continued walking to the couch. "What's that mom? Sorry can't hear you!" She said, then joined the boys, watching the game.

Mrs. Knight shook her head. "Unbelievable. And now poor Logan is out there cleaning all by himself." She said then looked back out the glass doors and watched him put a paper plate in the garbage bag. "He's such a good boy." She mused. "So responsible and polite and considerate."

"And smart." Mrs. Garcia added as she watched. "That barbecue really was amazing for us. I wouldn't have ever thought of that."

"Such an amazing boy." Mrs. Diamond said.

"Well,". Kendall called from the couch. "You guys always did say he takes after his mother." He said happily, then realization hit him, and all of them, and he paused his game, horror and sorrow and guilt raising in his stomach. As he looked around the room, he could tell that everyone else felt the same way.

* * *

**Author's note: I know I kind of skipped the moms going through Depression. And them getting over it was a little rushed. Sorry.**


	5. Chapter 5 Realization

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

Chapter 5

Realization

"His mother. . ." Mrs. Knight said softly, bringing a hand to her mouth in horror, as tears filled her eyes. "Who just died."

"Oh my god." Mrs. Diamond said. "How could we forget about him? Joanna was his _mother_!" Then a memory struck her and her eyes grew wide and shimmered with tears, before she buried her face in her hands. "What I said to him earlier. . .I can't believe I. . .I'm a horrible person!" She cried.

Mrs. Knight wrapped her arms around her. "You're not a horrible person, Brooke."

"Did you hear what I said?" Mrs. Diamond asked her angrily, as she raised her head to reveal tear-stained cheeks. "I said that he wouldn't understand. That he wouldn't know what it was like to lose someone that we loved like family. I said that he couldn't understand the hurt that we were going through! When all along, _he_ was the one that lost his family! His _real_ family! His own mother! I was horrible to him! I can't believe I said that!"

"I can't believe we forgot about him!" James said angrily. "He. . .He lost his mom! How could we miss that? How could we completely overlook that?"

"Poor Logie!" Carlos said in a shaky voice. "He was dealing with this all by himself, because we weren't there for him!" Tears ran down his face and Mr. Garcia wrapped his arm around him.

"I knew something was wrong." Kendall said. "I knew we were forgetting something! God!" He yelled furiously. "How could I be so stupid?"

"Kendall,". Mrs. Knight came and put a hand on his shoulder. "It's not your fault. Logan. . .He wasn't acting the way we would've expected him to act. He was. . .acting. . ."

"Normal." James finished. "He was acting like it didn't effect him. Like he was me or Carlos or Kendall, who didn't know Mrs. Mitchell that well. He was acting like it wasn't his _mother_ that just died!"

They all turned and watched as Logan picked up more garbage around the yard, and threw it in the bag. The boys really made a mess out there.

"How?" Mrs. Garcia asked quietly. "How could he be so strong?"

"He hasn't even dealt with it." Mrs. Diamond said. "He hasn't cried or grieved yet. That's not healthy."

"He kept helping _us_." Mrs. Knight realized. "Everytime we were hurting and sad, he was comforting us. He was making _us_ feel better. He was being strong for _us_." A sob escaped her lips. "Logan."

A sniffle sounded from behind her and Mrs. Knight turned, to find the teary eyes of her daughter. "Oh Katie." Mrs. Knight said and bend down, wrapping her in a hug.

"He kept being strong for me." Katie sobbed. "He was pretending that everything was okay and playing with me and making me laugh. I didn't know that. . .I didn't think. . ."

"It seems none of us thought." Mr. Garcia said solemnly, running his free hand through his hair, while keeping a strong hold on Carlos. "Joanna was Logan's only parent." Mr. Garcia said, causing everyone to look at him.

Mrs. Knight's eyes widened in realization. "And he's still only seventeen."

Then Kendall caught on, eyes widening as well. "Oh no. You don't mean. . ."

"What?" Carlos asked, looking up at his father. "What is it?"

"What's wrong?" Katie asked.

"He. . ." Mr. Garcia started, but trailed off.

"What?" Carlos demanded.

"Logan. . ." Mrs. Knight started hesitantly. "He'll have to either be put in. . .In foster care, or an orphanage."

"What?" Katie and Carlos exclaimed.

"He's under age." Mr. Garcia explained. "And he has no official parent to take care of him now. Pretty soon, Mrs. Knight's temporary custody will wear out, and Logan will be taken to an orphanage, or to a different family."

"No!' Carlos yelled, pulling away from his father angrily. "They can't take Logan away from us! He's our brother!"

Mr. Garcia pulled Carlos back into a tight embrace as he sobbed into his chest. "Don't worry Carlos." He said. "I won't let them take him away. Whatever it takes, I'll make sure we don't lose him too."

Kendall looked back out at Logan, still cleaning the last bit of garbage. "I can't believe I missed him."

"Kendall-" Mrs. Knight tried again.

"Mom, he's my best friend!" Kendall said. "My brother, just like Carlos said. All that time we were talking about you guys and how hard it must've been to lose a best friend, but Logan lost a mom! His mom! I just. . .I should've known. I should've thought of him! But, I was just so worried about you guys, 'cause you were all so upset, and I just. . .Uuugh!" He gripped at his hair in frustration.

Mr. Garcia carefully released Carlos, and James took his place by wrapping an arm around Carlos' shoulders. Then Mr. Garcia wrapped Kendall in just as tight of an embrace. Kendall tensed at first, not wanting to calm down, to let go of his emotions. But Mr. Garcia only tightened his grip. "Shhh." He soothed. "It's okay Kendall. We _all_ made a mistake. But now that we know, we can fix it. It'll be okay."

Finally, Kendall relaxed. His shoulders slumped, and he started to cry. He wrapped his arms around Mr. Garcia, gripping the fabric of his shirt until his knuckles turned white, and he cried into his chest.

Then two more pairs of arms wrapped around them. "Papi's right, Kendall." Carlos said softly, giving his brother a tight, reassuring squeeze. "We'll fix this."

"We're going to help Logan." James said firmly, his long arms reaching all the way around to Carlos as well.

Kendall pulled away, sniffling. He wiped at his eyes and gave them all a wobbly smile and a reasurring nod. "I should go talk to him."

Mr. Garcia placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him. "I understand how badly you want to fix this, but I don't think you're in the right state to talk to him right now." He offered a smile, and reluctantly, Kendall nodded. "I'll go talk to him."

"What are you gonna do?" Mrs. Garcia asked as he made it to the glass door.

Mr. Garcia stopped in front of the door and turned around. "Hopefully, make him grieve."

* * *

Logan bent down and picked up another paper cup, then dropped it in the garbage bag.

"Hey Logan." Mr. Garcia called behind him.

"Oh, hey Mr. Garcia." Logan said, looking over his shoulder as Mr. Garcia neared him. "I think I'm almost done out here. The guys really trashed the yard. I didn't even know we had this much garbage to begin with!" He joked. Mr. Garcia laughed lightly. "Anyway, I'm almost done." Logan said. "Do the moms need any help in the house?" He asked.

"No,". Mr. Garcia said. "They're all good now."

"Okay, well, I'll be inside in a bit." Logan said as he picked up more garbage, his back turned to Mr. Garcia.

"Logan,". Mr. Garcia started hesitantly. "How are you?" He asked.

Logan looked back at him over his shoulder. "Well, my back's kind of sore from picking up all this garbage." He joked.

"That's not what I meant." Mr. Garcia said.

Logan's brow furrowed in confusion as he bent down for a plastic bag. "Well what _do_ you mean?" He asked.

"I mean. . .How are you. . .With the whole, funeral thing?" Mr. Garcia asked evasively. He was trying not to be too blunt about it, and tiptoe around the subject. To be more sensitive about it.

"Mr. Garcia, the funeral was three days ago." Logan chuckled lightly as he scrunched up the plastic bag and threw it in the garbage bag. "I'm not sure what you mean."

Mr. Garcia sighed. "Logan, you just lost your mother." He finally blurted out.

Logan froze in mid air as he was bending down for a discarded napkin. He squeezed his eyes shut as they suddenly swelled with tears, trying to suppress them, like he'd done all those times before.

"Logan." Mr. Garcia said softly, slowly approaching him.

Logan cleared his throat. "I'm fine." He said, picking the napkin up and throwing it in the bag. "I mean, these things happen." He shrugged off. "I'm more worried about the girls. They lost their best friend. Like Mrs. Diamond said, she was like a sister to them. I couldn't imagine-"

"Logan." Mr. Garcia said, standing right behind him now. "The girls are fine now. They've grieved. They're okay."

Logan hesitated. "They're still really upset about it." He turned around without looking at Mr. Garcia and started walking passed him to find more garbage.

But Mr. Garcia grabbed his arm and stopped him. "Logan, are you even dealing with this?" He asked softly.

Logan didn't turn to him, he stayed facing the other way. He squeezed his eyes tight as more tears threatened to fall. "I don't-" His voice cracked and he cleared it. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Logan, stop." Mr. Garcia said softly, pulling slightly at Logan's arm. "Stop trying to hide it, to hold it in." He slowly made his way closer to Logan. "It's okay to cry you know." He said softly.

"I. . . I'm fine." Logan said evasively. "Listen, I'm almost done cleaning out here, I promise I don't need any help, so you can go back inside. I'll be inside soon. I just need-" He tried to pull free of Mr. Garcia's grip.

But Mr. Garcia pulled lightly on Logan's wrist, forcing him to look at him. Mr. Garcia could see the tears threatening to fall in Logan's eyes. He could see the struggle Logan was having to keep his emotions at bay. "Logan." Mr. Garcia whispered. "Let it go. It's okay now."

Logan stared at him, trying so hard to keep it all in, to keep from letting his emotions free. But his resolve was weakening rapidly as he stared at Mr. Garcia's caring and concerned eyes. Finally, Logan dropped his gaze. "I can't." he said softly.

"Why not?" Mr. Garcia asked softly.

Logan stayed silent, his breath quickening as his struggle to hold back the tears got harder. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried his hardest to keep the tears from falling, to keep from losing control. But Mr. Garcia could see that he was slowly losing the battle. "Logan." Mr. Garcia whispered.

A small sob finally escaped, and with that, everything came crumbling down. The tears broke free and fell down Logan's cheeks. Mr. Garcia wrapped his arms around him, and Logan dropped the garbage bag, allowing the embrace. After everything, he just didn't have the strength to pull away.

"It'll be okay Logan." Mr. Garcia soothed softly as he rubbed the back of Logan's head soothingly. "I'm here, I've got you."

"She's gone." Logan whispered as he cried silently. "Mom's gone."

Logan's legs were giving out and Mr. Garcia slowly lead him to sit on the ground. "I know son." Mr. Garcia said softly. "I know."

"It happened so fast." Logan whispered. "She was fine. I talked to her and she was perfectly fine! And then. . .She's gone!"

"Shhh. I know Logan." Mr. Garcia soothed. "It came as a shock to all of us. But we're all here for you now. It's okay. We'll help you."

"No." Logan shook his head and sniffled, pulling away from Mr. Garcia. "No, this is wrong. I'm not supposed to be doing this! Oh God!" He gripped at his hair. "I'm sorry." He whispered, shaking his head frantically. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!"

"Logan, it's okay." Mr. Garcia tried. "Calm down. It's okay to-"

"No it's not!" Logan yelled. "Not for me! I can't cry! I can't break down like this! I'm supposed to be there for everyone else, not crying like a weak little baby!"

"Logan, what are you talking about?" Mr. Garcia asked.

"I'm supposed to stay strong." Logan said quietly, almost to himself as he stared at his hands in his lap. "I'm supposed to be strong. I can't cry. I can't."

"Logan,". Mr. Garcia placed a hand on his, forcing him to look up at him. "Why do you think that?"

Logan looked up at him with teary eyes. "Because I promised her I would." He whispered.

"What?" Mr. Garcia asked.

"The night before the accident,". Logan started in a cracking voice. "Mom called me, we were talking until I got too tired. she told me to go to bed, and the last thing she said to me was 'stay strong'."

"Oh Logan." Mr. Garcia said, and wrapped him in a tight hug again. "You _have_ been strong. You've been the strongest young man I've ever known. But sometimes, even the strongest of men is allowed to cry once in a while. Even the mightiest of warriors is allowed to get help from the people around them." He rubbed circles on Logan's back and slowly rocked him back and forth as Logan rested against his chest. "And sometimes,". Mr. Garcia said softly. "It takes more strength to cry when you need to."

Another sob escaped, and Logan fell to his tears. He tried to reign them in, to regain his composure, but it was no use. He'd lost his strength, and now everything was pouring out of him. All that pent up and buried emotion came flooding out of him as he laid on Mr. Garcia's strong chest. He felt the strong, comforting arms around him tighten, and the soft rocking motions soothed him.

"Logan,". Mr. Garcia said softly. "We all love you so much. Please let us help you."

And he did. Logan finally let his emotions go and let Mr. Garcia comfort him.

* * *

Mrs. Knight peeked out the glass doors. Mr. Garcia had been talking to Logan for a half an hour. They'd moved to the rocking bench under a canopy and were just sitting there. Mrs. Knight looked at them sympathetically. She knew that getting Logan to cry was what was best for him, but she still didn't like seeing him so upset.

"They've been out there for a while." Mrs. Garcia said softly as she watched with Mrs. Knight.

Mrs. Knight nodded. "He did it. He finally got Logan to cry." She said solemnly, then sniffled.

"Oh, Jen." Mrs. Garcia said softly and wrapped her in her arms.

"He doesn't deserve this." Mrs. Knght cried softly into Mrs. Garcia's chest. "Logan is the nicest, most amazing boy I know. He doesn't deserve to have his mom taken away from him like this. So brutally and sudden."

"You're right." Mrs. Diamond said, laying a hand on Mrs. Knight's shoulder. "It's not fair. And the man that took her away from us, gets away with his life. Sure he has to live it in prison, but he's still living. It's not fair."

"What are we gonna do?" Mrs. Knight asked. "We can't let them take Logan away from us too. We can't!"

They thought for a bit, then the idea hit them all at once, and they smiled.

* * *

Mr. Garcia tightened the arm he had around Logan's shoulders. He looked down to see Logan leaning up against his right side. They sat on the rocking bench and just let the motions soothe them. Logan gripped Mr. Garcia's shirt, but he'd settled down, his sobs slowed, and he just laid there, sniffling every now and then.

Mr. Garcia rubbed Logan's arm comfortingly, and Logan's eyes began to droop. Mr. Garcia leaned in and kissed Logan on the top of the head. "Good night Logan." He said softly, before Logan's eyes closed.

* * *

**Author's note: I hope you like that bit of Logan angst as much as I did. :)**

**The line "Sometimes, it takes more strength to cry when you need to." was taken from an anime known as "Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle." I thought it was fitting. :)**


	6. Chapter 6 Depression

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

Chapter 6

Depression

Kendall groggily made his way to the kitchen, finding the moms already sitting at the table, around a small stack of papers.

"Morning sweetie." Mrs. Knight greeted with a smile.

"Is Logan-" He started.

"Logan's fine." Mrs. Diamond smiled. "He's still sleeping with Mr. Garcia."

"Are they still outside?" Kendall asked.

"Don't worry Kendall." Mrs. Garcia said gently. "We brought out the blankets. I promise they're warm enough." She smiled.

Finally, Kendall relaxed and sat down at the counter with a nod.

"Are you hungry?" Mrs. Diamond asked. "I made pancakes." She set a plate in front of him with a smile.

"Thanks Mama Diamond." Kendall smiled and took a bite.

"Did I hear pancakes?" Carlos came into the kitchen and plopped into the chair beside Kendall eagerly.

Mrs. Diamond chuckled. "Here you go sweetie." She said as she placed a plate in front of him.

"Mmm! Thanks Mama Diamond!" Carlos said then continued to stuff his face.

"You're welcome boys." Mrs. Diamond said sweetly, then placed two more plates in the chairs beside Carlos. "Over here James, Katie." She called to the two new occupants of the kitchen.

"How's Logan?" James asked as he sat down.

"He's fine." Mrs. Knight promised. "Still sleeping."

"Are they still outside?" Katie asked.

The moms chuckled. "You kids have been hanging around together too much." Mrs. Diamond joked.

James, Carlos and Katie shared looks of confusion, and Kendall ducked his head, smiling nervously as his cheeks lit up in embarrassment.

"So,". Kendall attempted to change the subject. "What are you girls reading?"

The moms' faces lit up with huge grins.

* * *

The cool air rushed his face, and the birds sang their songs, urging him to wake up. Logan slowly cracked his eyes open and was momentarily confused when he noticed that he was outside. He felt around, noticing the heavy blankets covering him, and then the arm that laid across his stomach. He looked over to see Mr. Garcia laying beside him, sleeping peacefully.

Once the memories came back, Logan was overtaken by guilt. He'd broken. He broke his last promise to his mother and he broke down. He cried and sobbed like a little baby missing his mother. Hot tears surfaced in Logan's eyes and he laid an arm across them to try and hide them, to push them back in. Not only did he let his mother down, but now Mr. Garcia had stayed outside in the cool wind all night, all because of him. Logan felt worthless. He felt like he couldn't do anything right, like he'd messed everything up and now inconvenienced Mr. Garcia. He was a burden.

"Logan?" Mr. Garcia's soft voice urged Logan to lift his arm and look over at his caring and concerned eyes.

"I'm sorry." Logan whispered, more tears falling down his face.

Mr. Garcia squeezed him up against his chest. "Shhh. You don't have to be, Logan." He soothed softly.

"I messed everything up." Logan cried quietly. "You're out here with me when you should be inside with your family. They need you more than I-"

"Shhh, Logan." Mr. Garcia cut him off. "I _am_ with my family. You're just as much my family as the others are. You're just as much my son as Carlos is, and Kendall and James are. I'm here for you, because I love you and I want to help you."

"I don't deserve it." Logan whispered against Mr. Garcia's chest. "I'm weak. I broke my promise to mom. Where ever she is, Heaven or whatever, she's disappointed in me, I just know it."

"No Logan." Mr. Garcia said firmly. He sat up, bringing Logan with him, and took his shoulders, looking at him. "Don't talk like that." Mr. Garcia said firmly. "Your mother loves you. You are so strong Logan, stronger than you realize. You didn't break your promise. You've helped everyone when they needed. You are an amazing young man Logan, and I'm sure as your mother watches you from Heaven, she couldn't be more proud."

Logan sniffled, then looked at Mr. Garcia with teary eyes. "How do you know?" He asked in a small voice.

"Because I feel the exact same way." Mr. Garcia said immediately. "I'm so proud of you Logan. You've been through a lot. More in these past couple of days than any seventeen year old boy should. Yet you've gotten through it all, all by yourself. And while I don't approve of you hiding and bottling up your feelings, you still managed to help all of the girls, and they couldn't be happier now. You helped them grieve and get over the sadness. You're so amazing Logan, you don't know how strong you are."

Logan dropped his gaze as more tears swelled in his eyes. "But Logan,". Mr. Garcia went on. "You've been strong for long enough. Now, let us help you. We all owe it you after everything you've done for us. And we _want_ to help you Logan, because we love you. More than you realize. We love you so much Logan, you're a part of this family too."

A small sob escaped from Logan's lips, and Mr. Garcia quickly wrapped him in another tight hug. Logan wrapped his arms around Mr. Garcia and gripped his jacket tightly as he cried silently into his chest.

"Shhh." Mr. Garcia soothed, rubbing Logan's back. "It's okay, I'm here son. I've got you."

"Thank you." Logan whispered.

Mr. Garcia smiled. "Of course Logan. I love you."

"I love you too." Logan said softly.

* * *

"Carlos! Stop it! That's gross!" Katie shrieked.

Carlos thrusted his wide-open mouth closer to her, revealing half eaten pancake.

"What's the matter Katie?" James asked. "I thought you liked sea food!" He stabbed his fork into a bite of pancake and mimicked Carlos on her other side.

"Yeah Katie!" Kendall said. "You always said how much you want expensive lobster and junk!" He mimicked James. All the boys taunted Katie from all angles with wide-open, full mouths.

"Mom!" Katie cried.

"Boys,". Mrs. Knight warned as she stared at the papers in front of her. "Stop bothering your sister."

"Sorry mom." The boys whined, then went back to eating.

"Honestly." Mrs. Garcia shook her head as she stared at the papers. "Sometimes I wonder if they really are related somehow." She chuckled, and everyone joined in.

Then the sliding glass door opened, and everyone stopped and turned. Mr. Garcia had an arm full of blankets, while the other was fastened tightly around Logan's shoulders comfortingly.

Logan looked completely different from when everyone last saw him. Instead of the normal, happy young man, there was a broken boy in his place. His eyes were red and puffy, and he sniffled every now and then. He carried such a sadness and depression in his eyes, but once everyone turned to him, he still attempted to mask it with a small smile. "Hi." He greeted quietly.

"Oh Logan." Mrs. Knight cooed as she stood. She immediately wrapped her arms around him tightly. "I'm so sorry." She whispered. "We all feel horrible for forgetting about you the way we did. I'm sorry we weren't there for you honey."

"But we are now." Mrs. Diamond said, and wrapped her arms around the both of them.

"Whatever you need sweetie." Mrs. Garcia said and joined the hug. "We're here for you."

Logan wrapped his arms around them and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to will the eminent tears away. "Thank you." He whispered.

"You were so amazing and strong for us." Mrs. Knight said softly as she rubbed his back. "Let us be strong for you now."

That did it. Logan lost his remaining control, and cried silently into the embrace he missed so much. The embrace he thought he'd never feel again; The embrace of a mother.

And yet, here he had three.

They stayed there for a few minutes, before Logan finally gained control again, and calmed his sobs. "I'm sorry." He sniffled as he pulled away.

"Don't be sweetie." Mrs. Knight smiled as she laid a hand on his face, wiping at a stray tear.

"It's about time, really." Mrs. Garcia smiled.

Logan sniffled, then smiled back at them.

"So are you hungry?" Mrs. Diamond asked, already placing two more plates of pancakes on the counter.

"Starving." Mr. Garcia said with a smile. Everyone chuckled.

Logan went around the counter and sat at the end, beside James.

"You okay buddy?" James asked.

Logan looked over to see the boys and Katie watching him with concerned eyes. Logan smiled lightly and nodded. "Yeah."

James smiled and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Logan smiled back, then continued to eat, safely in James' one-armed hug, and the presence of his family.

* * *

"Got you!" Katie exclaimed.

"You'll pay for that!" James exclaimed.

"Try and keep it down, 'kay kids?" Mrs. Garcia called gently over the yelling coming from the living room.

"Sorry Mama Garcia!" James and Katie called.

"We'll be quiet mom!" Carlos called. "Ooh, watch out!" He yelled.

Mrs. Garcia shook her head fondly as she helped the other moms clean the kitchen. Breakfast had been finished at least two hours ago. James, Carlos and Katie all sat in the living room playing video games while Mr. Garcia had left to do official police work.

"Has anyone seen Logan?" Kendall asked as he made his way down the stairs. "I can't find him upstairs."

"He went for a walk." James answered. "That was about a half an hour ago."

"By himself?" Kendall asked in shock.

"He seemed to need some time alone." Mrs. Knight said gently.

"Well apparently he's had a whole half an hour!" Kendall said, anger and worry taking him over.

"Kendall,". Mrs. Knight said. "Calm down."

Kendall sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Sorry. I'm just worried about him."

"I know sweetie." Mrs. Knight said as she laid a hand on his face.

"I'm gonna text him." Kendall said, pulling out his phone.

"Good idea." Mrs. Knight smiled at him and went back to cleaning.

'_Where are you?_' Kendall anxiously pressed send and waited for the reply. He tried focusing on Carlos', James' and Katie's game but he was just too worried about Logan. He knew he was over reacting. But he didn't think Logan should be alone, especially in the emotional state he was in.

But Kendall's mom was also right. Logan _did_ need some time alone to think about and process everything. Though Kendall thought he'd had enough time now and was anxious to find him.

Kendall's phone made him jump when it suddenly vibrated in his hand. '_The pond._'

"I'm going to the pond!" Kendall called as he grabbed his jacket and rushed out the door.


	7. Chapter 7 Autumn

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

Chapter 7

Autumn

The cool wind swept along the grass. It made the trees rustle and shake slightly. It made the brittle Autumn leaves fly through the air. And it crept into the safety barrier of his jacket, making him shiver.

Logan shoved his hands into his pockets and stood there. He stared at the water of the pond, as it moved with the soft wind. He stared as a leaf floated down and touched the water, making ripples on the smooth, clear surface.

His mother was dead. Logan's mother was dead. After all that time of comforting and helping everyone else deal with it, Logan was finally letting it catch up with him, letting it sink in. He didn't have a mom anymore. He had no family left. He was all alone.

Logan sank to his knees, crossing his legs at the edge of the wide pond. He started pulling at the grass and throwing bits into the water, watching as it, like the leaf, broke the smooth surface with its touch, rippling along the water. Even the smallest piece of grass made a ripple that traveled all across the pond. Even the smallest thing had an impact on the large surface.

One person. That's all it took. One person, one misconception of speed, one second too late. Everything came crashing down in that one second. Logan had lost everything, in that one second. That one person, a person he didn't even know, changed his life forever. He killed his mom. Logan's last remaining relative, gone, in an instant.

Tears started to form in his eyes, and he sniffled. His mom was dead. The nice, amazing, considerate Joanna Mitchell was no longer in this world. Logan was suddenly hit hard with a heavy sadness. He missed her. He hadn't been able to see her since she had come to visit him on Mother's Day, but that felt like so long ago. He missed her sweet voice, calming him when he was hurt. He missed her laugh. He missed her caring face. He missed everything about her. He just wanted to see her again. To talk to her again.

Another nagging thought crept into Logan's mind, and his broken heart sank to his stomach. Logan had no family, and he was under age. That meant foster care, or an orphanage. He'd have to leave the only other people in the world who actually cared about him. He'd have to move in with a family that didn't even know him. More tears streamed down his face at the thought of leaving his best friends, and their families that they had so generously shared with him. He didn't want to leave them. Ever.

_'I wonder how they'd do without me.'_ Logan thought. _'Big Time Rush would probably be over. Unless they got a replacement. That's most likely what they'd do. They'd go back to L.A. and Gustavo would find a replacement for me. It wouldn't even be that hard either. I'm already the weakest link of the group. They'd be able to find someone ten times better than me in no time.'_

_'I wonder how they'd live without me.'_ Logan thought. _'Carlos would most likely break a lot more bones without me there to nag at him about safety precautions. But he'd probably be having more fun too, without me stepping on his fun schemes. James would definitely get more girls without me cramping his style. Kendall would probably have a lot more fun too, without me being a pessimist all the time about his plans.'_

_'Why did it have to be her?'_ Logan thought as tears fell down his cold cheeks. _'She was a saint. Everyone who ever met her loved her. She was a way stronger person than I ever could be. Why did she have to be the one that died?'_

"It should've been me." Logan whispered to himself. He sniffled and just stared at the grass in his hands, throwing it into the water. Then he picked up a small rock, rolling it around in his fingers.

Cracks and sounds of twigs and brittle leaves being stepped on, suddenly sounded behind Logan. He didn't even have to look to know who it was. They were silent as they walked closer, sitting right beside him.

Logan sighed, then sniffled. He played with the small rock in his hand. "One person." He said. "One single person, threw a rock in the pond of my life." He said, and threw the rock into the pond. "And I lost everything in the ripples." He watched as the ripples expanded from where the rock fell in, to the edges of the pond. "And he gets away with it,". He said as he watched the small rock sink down to the bottom of the pond. "As I sink to the bottom."

Kendall sighed and stood up. "You're forgetting one thing." He said as he walked over to the pond. He reached into the water and picked up the rock. "You have us, to pick you back up." He walked back over to Logan, who stood up to meet him. "No matter what." Kendall finished, and placed the rock in Logan's hand.

Logan stared at the rock, tears forming in his eyes. He sniffled, and Kendall wrapped his arms around him. "Thank you." Logan whispered.

"I'm here for you Logie." Kendall whispered back.

Logan pulled away and smiled sadly, tears staining his face. Then they both sat back down and stared at the pond.

"I didn't know it could be so hard." Logan said. "To try and. . .Move on, to live. Without. . ." He trailed off and hung his head.

Kendall sighed, then wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close. "I know buddy. I'm sorry this had to happen to you. I wish there was some way I could fix it, to make you happy again."

"I miss her." Logan whispered, laying his head on Kendall's shoulder. "I miss her so much. I hadn't seen her since Mother's Day and now. . ."

Kendall tightened his grip around Logan's shoulders. "I'm sorry Logan." He whispered.

Logan pulled away slowly and stared at the ground. "It's okay. It's not your fault this happened."

"I know." Kendall sighed. "But still. I wish this didn't happen to you. You're my best friend, and I don't like to see you so sad."

"That's why I hid it." Logan mumbled.

Kendall sighed. "I know. And I get where you were coming from when you did it. I understand that you wanted to help everyone else, and you did. You were amazing Logie. But, you could've talked to us. Me and James and Carlos. You didn't have to keep it to yourself, to bottle it up and deal with it by yourself."

Logan sighed. "I know, and I'm sorry. But, it just. . .I don't know. I felt like if I _did_ deal with it, the way you're supposed to. You know, with, crying and everything. It'd feel more. . .Real." He shrugged. "Plus I didn't want to break my promise."

"What promise?" Kendall asked.

Logan looked up at him, then dropped his gaze again. "It's stupid."

Kendall placed a hand on his shoulder and looked at him with caring, understanding eyes, coaxing Logan to continue.

Logan sighed. "Before the. . .Accident. I talked to her, over the phone. We talked about how life was going on my end, talked about Gustavo and stuff. The usual." He shrugged. "Then I started to get tired. So we were getting ready to hang up. The last thing she said to me was to stay strong. I promised her I would."

"Logan,". Kendall started. "You know she didn't-"

"I know she didn't mean it like that." Logan nodded. "She was just talking about work and Gustavo and stuff. But still. It felt like, the last thing I could do for her." He sniffled. "I know it's stupid." He said in a cracking voice, dropping his head as he tried to compose himself.

Kendall wrapped him in a hug again. "It's not stupid." He said softly, then chuckled lightly. "I'd probably end up doing the same thing you did."

A small smile crept across Logan's face, then disappeared quickly. "Why did she have to die?" Logan asked quietly, tears running down his face. "She didn't deserve it. She was the nicest person in the world. She went out of her way to make everyone happy. She didn't deserve to die."

Kendall rubbed Logan's back comfortingly. "I don't know Logie." He said softly, a tear running down his face. He hated seeing his best friend so hurt and broken. And he hated not having the answers to fix everything.

"She was the strongest person I know." Logan said softly. "Way stronger than I could ever be. If anyone should've died in that crash, it should've been me."

"Now hold on there." Kendall said, then pulled Logan away to look him in the eyes. "Don't talk like that." He said firmly, holding Logan's shoulders. "Don't even think like that Logan. Your mom wouldn't want you to be thinking like that."

Logan sniffled. "But-"

"Listen here Logan." Kendall said firmly, holding his shoulders tight. "You may not think very highly of yourself, but let me tell you right now, that you are exactly like your mother. All those nice things you said about her, they apply to you too. You're just as amazing as she was Logan. She didn't deserve to die in that crash but neither do you. You're stronger than you realize Logan."

Logan dropped his gaze. "Mr. Garcia said the same thing." He muttered.

"And he's right." Kendall said softly. "Logan, we all love you so much. We wish you wouldn't put yourself down like this all the time. What will it take to make you see what we see? The amazing, strong person that you are?"

Logan shrugged. "I'm sorry." He said softly.

Kendall pulled him into a hug. "It's okay buddy. But promise me one thing." Logan looked up at him expectantly. "Promise me,". Kendall continued. "That whenever you have these feelings, these doubts about yourself again, that you'll come tell me. You'll talk to me, instead of hiding everything and pretending like nothing is wrong. Just come find me, no matter what's going on, or what time it is, or where we are, and talk to me. Tell me what's bothering you. So I can help you. And even if I'm not around, talk to _someone_. James, Carlos, my mom, we're all here for you Logie, and we want to help you. Promise me you'll let us." He said almost desperately.

Logan gave Kendall a tight squeeze. "Okay." He whispered, then sniffled. "I promise."

Kendall smiled and squeezed him back. "Good."

"Kendall?" Logan asked.

"Yeah buddy?" Kendall replied.

"Thank you." Logan said softly.

"Anytime." Kendall smiled.

They pulled away and smiled at each other, then Logan rested his head on Kendall's shoulder and they just stared at the water.

* * *

They didn't know how long they were there. At one point, they had moved from the edge of the pond, to sit under a large tree, leaning against it's wide trunk. Kendall had an arm around Logan's shoulders and Logan rested on his right side, his head leaning on Kendall's shoulder.

The wind was getting colder, but they didn't really want to move, they just stayed there, up against the tree. They didn't talk, they just stared at the water, and watched the leaves dance in the wind, content in each other's company.

Finally they heard the crack and crunch of footsteps, and turned to see James and Carlos walk over to them. They sat down beside them silently, James on Logan's right, and Carlos on Kendall's left. James wrapped an arm around Logan, who did the same, and Kendall wrapped his other arm around Carlos, who leaned against his shoulder. No words were spoken for the longest time. But then again, no words were needed. All that was needed was the comfort and reassurance that their closeness provided.

"I love you guys." Logan said softly.

"We love you too Logie." Kendall said.

"Always have,". James added.

"Always will." Carlos finished.

They sat contently, watching birds fly. The cold air no longer effected them in the warm embrace of each other.

* * *

"It's getting kind of late." Mr. Garcia said, observing the window.

"Do you think they're alright?" Mrs. Garcia asked.

"I'm sure they're fine." Mr. Garcia assured.

"How do you know?" Mrs. Diamond asked. "Jen, did they-"

"No new text since the one fifteen minutes ago." Mrs. Knight answered. "Kendall said they were on their way. I'm sure it's just taking a little while to get here." Though as she spoke, she paced nervously around the room.

"What if they ran into trouble?" Mrs. Garcia asked.

"What kind of trouble could they possible get into in Minnesota?" Katie asked incredulously.

Then the door opened, and the boys all entered before closing it behind them.

"There you are." Mrs. Knight said with a smile.

"What took you so long?" Mrs. Diamond asked as she and the others approached the boys.

"Just, walked a little slower I guess." James shrugged.

"Sorry we worried you." Kendall added.

"It's fine." Mrs. Knight smiled.

"You boys are freezing!" Mrs. Garcia said as she held Carlos' face. "Come on, we'll warm you up." She lead Carlos and the others to the couch where they sat. Carlos was at the left end, then it was Kendall, then Logan, then James.

"I'll get the blankets." Mrs. Diamond ran off.

"I'll make some hot chocolate." Mrs. Knight ran off.

"You boys hungry?" Mrs. Garcia asked. "I'll go make some nice warm soup." She said and ran off.

The boys all ducked their heads in embarrassment, and Mr. Garcia laughed, watching from a chair across from them. "You boys should know better than to make your mothers worry." He chuckled.

"Or at least be prepared for the ultimate babying when you do." Katie laughed, sitting beside him.

"Yeah yeah." Kendall waved off. "Bad us, for making them worry and all that. We get it."

"I'm sorry." Logan said softly. "It's my fault we were out there so late. I should've known-"

"It's not your fault Logan." James said firmly. "And if anything, we all needed that." He smiled.

Logan offered a small smile in return, then dropped his gaze. "Still." He said.

"How are you doing Logan?" Mr. Garcia asked gently.

Logan looked shyly at him. "Better." He answered with a shrug.

Mr. Garcia approached him, then knelt down in front of him, placing a hand on his knee. "Are you sure?" Mr. Garcia asked softly.

The deep care in his eyes made Logan's heart ache. It just reminded him of what he would have to leave behind when he was taken away to foster care. Tears stung behind Logan's eyes, and he sniffled. He dropped his gaze to his hands.

Mr. Garcia wrapped his arms around Logan, and Logan did the same. He tried to compose himself, but the second that James, Kendall and Carlos joined the hug, a sob escaped, and he cried into Mr. Garcia's chest. He didn't want to leave this, to be taken away from this.

"I know what your thinking." Mr. Garcia said softly, then everyone pulled away so he could look Logan in the eyes. "And we're not gonna let you go."

Logan sniffled. "But without a family, I'll have to-"

"You have a family." Kendall said, squeezing him with the arm he had around his shoulders. "You always have."

Logan smiled sadly at him. "I know that. But the law doesn't see it that way."

"They do now." Mrs. Knight said as she and the other moms entered. She had a tray full of cups, Mrs. Garcia had a tray of bowls, and Mrs. Diamond had an arm-full of blankets.

Mrs. Diamond draped blanket after blanket across the boys, then Mrs. Garcia and Mrs. Knight set their trays on the table in front of them.

"I. . .I don't understand." Logan said, looking to each of their smiling faces with confused eyes.

Mr. Garcia reached behind him and pulled out a couple of papers folded together. He unfolded them and began reading out loud. "Custody Case of seventeen-year-old Logan Mitchell. The jury hereby grants shared custody of one Logan Mitchell, to a Mr. Garcia and a Mrs. Jennifer Knight. They will share the responsibility of the care and well-being for the child. Logan Mitchell will live in the caring household of Mrs. Jennifer Knight and her two other children, as it is the best place for the child at this time. Jury approved. Case closed." He folded the papers back up with a smile and stared at Logan, patiently waiting for a response.

Logan stared at the papers, mouth gaped and eyes wide. He couldn't believe what he's just heard. He couldn't process it.

"Logie?" Carlos asked quietly. "Did you hear us?"

"We adopted you buddy." Kendall whispered close to his ear.

"No foster care. No orphanage." James said with a smile.

"You're staying right here with us." Mrs. Knight said. "Forever."

Logan finally tore his gaze away from the papers in Mr. Garcia's hands and looked to all of them. Could he really believe it? "What. . .How. . ." He stumbled for words.

"It's okay Logie." Kendall said softly, wrapping him in a hug. "You're not gonna have to leave us. We're keeping you." He pulled away and smiled at him.

Logan stared at Kendall. "I. . .I don't know what to say."

"How about, 'This is so awesome!'?" Carlos suggested softly. "You're like, our real brother now. I mean, we've always been brothers, but now it's like, official!"

Logan smiled, then looked to them all with teary eyes. "Thank you."

"Thank _you_ Logan." Mrs. Knight said with a smile. "For being such an amazing and wonderful person. We never have to miss Joanna too much, because you are exactly like her. You're sweet and kind and considerate. We just have to look at you, and see her. We love you so much Logan."

A lone tear slipped down Logan's cheek. "I love you guys too." He said quietly.

Everyone gathered around and surrounded him in their arms. Despite the fact the his mother was gone, Logan felt the happiest he'd ever been. And he knew that his mother was watching him, with a smile as well.

* * *

**Author's note: I don't know if the papers were right. I just wrote what sounded all, official and stuff. Sorry if it's wrong.**


	8. Chapter 8 Bliss

**Author's note: Last chapter. Hope you guys enjoyed so far. And hope you like this last one. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

Chapter 8

Bliss

The cool wind whistled passed him. The trees rustled and leaves fell. He stood, hands in his pockets, and stared down in front of him.

Logan still couldn't fully process everything. It all happened so fast, he just couldn't believe it. He was part of a terrible tragedy; He'd lost his mother.

But Logan didn't deal with the loss like others would. He didn't cry. He didn't grieve. He bottled all those emotions up and hid them away. Instead, he comforted those around him, who were grieving. He buried his feelings, so that he could help everyone else.

But he couldn't hold them forever. His friends and their families wouldn't let him deal with it by himself anymore. Finally, with the help of the caring people that surrounded him, he let go. He cried and grieved like he should.

He knew that he'd never be able to forget or fully let go of the sorrow. It was deeply rooted in his heart. Some would say that it would've left a hole.

But Logan didn't have a hole in his heart like most would assume the event would leave. Even though he loved his mother deeply, and missed her every single day, he wasn't as broken anymore.

Though Logan lost a mother, in the process, he also gained something else. He gained something that re-filled the hole in his heart that his mother left. He gained something he didn't know he could have, but somehow, has had his whole life. He gained his family.

Mrs. Knight and Mr. Garcia had adopted him. They had shared custody over him. Logan still couldn't believe they were able to do it, or the fact that they had done it the first place. But they did. It was real. Logan had a family. He was going to live with Mrs. Knight and Katie and Kendall, for the rest of his life.

Though Logan lost a mother, he couldn't help the sense of joy he felt, in being accepted into the Knight's household. Mrs. Knight would never be able to replace the mother Logan once had, be she makes the perfect substitute.

Though it may technically be official with Kendall and Carlos, Logan has always felt that all of the boys and Katie were his brothers and sister. And they had demonstrated that fact a hundred times over when he was grieving for his mother. They had been there for him, just like the family they are.

Logan missed his mother more than anything. His heart still ached for her everyday. But he knew that he would be okay, because he had his family to always pick him back up. He loved his mother, but he also loved the rest of his family, just the same.

Somehow, Logan knew that where ever she was, this was what his mother wanted.

Logan took a step forward, and pulled a small, red rose from his inside pocket. Then he knelt down and gently placed it on the stone slab on the ground.

_'Here lies Joanna Mitchell_

_Loving Mother_

_Best Friend_

_Greatest Sister_

_The strongest girl we know'_

"I love you mom." Logan said softly. "I promise, I'll be okay. You don't have to worry about me. I've got everyone." He smiled at the gravestone.

Then he felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up and smiled at Kendall, and Kendall smiled back. Then he felt a hand on his other shoulder and he smiled at James.

When Logan stood, Carlos wrapped him in a hug, quickly followed by the other boys. Logan wrapped his arms around them in return. They pulled apart and Carlos smiled at him.

"You okay?" Carlos asked.

Logan smiled. "Yeah, I am now." He said.

Kendall and James slung their arms around Logan's shoulders, and Carlos slung his arm around James.

Logan sent one last look to the gravestone. "Bye mom." He said softly.

The boys pulled him close, and they all waved at the gravestone before turning and walking away.

* * *

"James! Get out of the bathroom! We're going to be late!" Logan banged on the door.

"In a minute!" James' voice came from behind the door. "Perfection takes time you know!"

"Yeah well, anymore time and you'll be dead on the floor once we get there! Hurry up!" Logan yelled back.

Finally the door opened. "Alright. I'm ready." James said with a smile.

Logan rolled his eyes. "Finally. Let's go!" He said then grabbed James' wrist and lead him to the kitchen area.

"Finally!" Kendall and Carlos exclaimed dramatically as the saw James and Logan approaching them.

"We'd better hurry with breakfast." Kendall said. "Gustavo's not gonna like us being late on our first day back."

"Aaaah, he waited three weeks, he can wait a few more minutes." Carlos waved off.

"Well I can't!" James said. "I can't wait to get back to singing and dancing!"

"Yes James, we know." Kendall said. "You only told us every five minutes on the plane yesterday." He smiled.

"Alright, it's done." Mrs. Knight said breathlessly as she set the plates in front of the boys. "Sorry it took so long. I'm still trying to get back into the old speed of things. It was a lot less stressful back in Minnesota when Brooke and Sylvia were helping."

"It's fine mom." Kendall said with a mouthful.

"This is delicious!" Carlos exclaimed with a mouthful of French toast. "Can we just skip rehearsal and eat this all day?" James squeaked offendedly.

"I don't think Gustavo, or _James_, would like that." Kendall laughed teasingly.

"Plus eating syrup all day isn't good for you." Logan added.

"Who cares?" Katie said as she took a forkful. "It's good!" Carlos hummed in agreement beside her, with a mouthful. Logan merely rolled his eyes with a smile.

Finally, the food was finished and the boys were ready to go. "You boys have everything you need?" Mrs. Knight asked. "Keys? Water? Jackets?"

"Yes, yes and-" The boys started.

"Wait,". Carlos said. "I think I left my jacket in Kendall's and Logan's room last night when we were watching that movie."

Logan sighed and rolled his eyes. "I'll get it." He quickly jogged down the hallway.

"Thanks Logie!" Carlos called after him.

Logan ran to the door and quickly scanned the room. Finally he caught sight of Carlos' jacket hanging on the back of Logan's computer chair. He quickly scooped it up and made to turn around, when something on his desk caught his eye. He picked up the picture frame and stared at it.

He was small in the picture, only eight years old. He could see Kendall, James and Carlos running around in the background, with Mr. Garcia chasing after them. Mrs. Diamond and Mrs. Knight were off to the side laughing as they watched. Mrs. Garcia was on the other side, holding the camera and peering in front of the lens to include herself, without blocking anyone else.

But in the middle if the picture, little eight-year-old Logan, stood on his mothers' sandal-clad feet. Mrs. Mitchell held his hands to steady him, and they both stared at the camera with wide, joyful grins.

A tear trickled down Logan's cheek, and he smiled fondly at the picture. He brought it his lips and kissed his mothers' smiling head. "Love you mom." Logan whispered. "Miss you."

He stared at the picture until he felt a hand on his shoulder. "You okay?" Kendall asked softly.

Logan sniffled and nodded, setting the picture down gently on the desk.

"That's a good picture of her." Kendall said softly with a smile as he stared at the picture.

"Yeah." Logan said softly as he wiped his eyes. "It's a good picture in general. Because it has my _whole_ family in it." He smiled.

Kendall smiled at him and patted his shoulder. "Come on little brother." He said.

Logan chuckled. "I'm older than you." He pointed out as they made their way back to the kitchen.

"But I'm taller than you." Kendall said with a smile as he slung his arm around Logan's shoulders.

They finally reached the kitchen, and Logan handed Carlos his jacket. "Here 'Litos. I swear, you'd forget your head if it wasn't attached to your body." He chuckled.

"That's what I have you for!" Carlos exclaimed as he slipped his jacket on, then beamed at Logan. Logan just shook his head fondly at him.

"Alright boys, have fun!" Mrs. Knight said as she kissed Carlos on the cheek. "Don't get into any trouble." She said as she kissed James' cheek. "And if Gustavo gives you any trouble, let me know. Okay?" She kissed Kendall's cheek.

"We will mom." Kendall said.

"Have fun sweetie." Mrs. Knight said as she kissed Logan on the cheek. "I love you."

Logan blushed. "I, love you too. Mama Knight." He said awkwardly.

They all waved to Mrs. Knight and turned to leave, but Logan was stopped by tiny arms wrapping around his waist, and he turned around.

"Good luck big brother." Katie said.

Logan knelt down and wrapped her in a hug. "Thank you." He whispered, with so much more meaning.

Katie pulled away and smiled at him with a nod, then turned to the other boys. "You too brothers. Don't let that Gustavo get ya down."

"Don't worry baby sister." Kendall said as he kissed her head. "We got this."

"See ya Katie." Carlos said as he mimicked Kendall, kissing Katie on the top of the head.

"Don't have too much fun without us." James teased as he kissed Katie's head.

"Bye Katie." Logan said softly as he kissed Katie's head.

Then they all waved and exited the apartment. They walked down the halls, and entered the elevator.

"She sure is a sweet one when she wants to be." James mused as they waited in the elevator.

"If only Gustavo could have a nice side like Katie." Carlos said. "I'm not looking forward to seeing him after all this time."

"I hear that." James agreed.

Kendall still had Logan by the shoulders, and they listened quietly to James' and Carlos' conversation. "How ya doin'?" Kendall asked quietly.

"I'm good." Logan nodded, then smiled at him. "It's just. . .A little hard to accept sometimes."

"What is?" Kendall asked.

"The fact that your mom and Carlos' dad adopted me." Logan said quietly.

Kendall smiled and gave Logan's shoulders a gentle shake. "But they did. And now you're our brother. For real."

Logan smiled at him. "Yeah, and I couldn't be more happier."

Kendall smiled, then it fell a little. "What about. . ." He trailed off.

Logan sighed. "I still miss her." Logan whispered. "Like, a lot." Then he looked up at him and smiled. "But I have you guys. So I know I'll be okay."

Kendall smiled. "Good. And don't ever forget that." He said softly.

Logan chuckled. "I won't, promise." He said.

"Good." Kendall smiled. "Plus, your mom can never really be gone, she's always watching you. And I'm sure she couldn't be more proud of you." He gave Logan a squeeze.

Logan chuckled and squeezed him back. "Thanks."

"Anytime." Kendall smiled.

Finally the doors dinged open, and they could see Kelly standing by the car waiting. Once she caught sight of them she anxiously waved them on, mouthing out _'You're late!'_

The boys sighed. "Looks like things are finally back to normal." James said and they stepped out of the elevator.

"No." Logan said softly. "They're better." He said, and Kendall tightened his grip on Logan, then James wrapped his arm around Kendall, while Carlos wrapped his arm around James. They all exchanged smiles as they continued walking to the awaiting Kelly, content in the comfort of each other.

* * *

**Author's note: And there you have it. I hope you enjoyed my little epilogue! Sorry for the cheesy ending, but really, is there any other way to end a story? :P**

**To be honest, I wasn't expecting it to go this long. I was only expecting five chapters! XD But I'm glad.**

**Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!**


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